Today is April the 4th, 2017 and its my birthday. Birthdays were once important to me, as a child I looked forward to them, they usually involved a day off school, cake & ice cream, and some really cool gifts.
As a child I loved my birthday but I didn't stop to consider that my birthday also represented the turning of a page, the beginning of a new year, the clock ticking away the hours and minutes and seconds of my life.
As important as a birthday was to me it seemed to be twice as important to my father, Dad was always concerned about his children and their enjoyment of special occasions. My Dad was born in 1931, two years into what history calls The Great Depression and he truly understood what it meant to be poor.
The youngest of four children my father grew up without his father, my grandfather had been career military and served in Europe during World War One. During a military operation my grandfather took shrapnel to his head and all through he surprisingly survived his service in the British military was at an end. In 1933 my grandfather would pass away due to complications brought on by this injury, my father was two years old and would have no sustainable memory of his father.
My widowed grandmother would fight to support her children to the best of her abilities but there would be no room for unnecessary expenses, no toys or candy when real food and clothing were obviously much more important.
These childhood experiences helped shape the man my Dad would become, and the lessons he would pass onto his three children, it would have an impact on his need to ensure that, if at all possible, his children wanted for as little as necessary.
Dad would also strive to teach us the value of things, needs vs wants, and that having the latest and greatest board game or video game did not equal a live or die scenario - sooner or later you would most likely get it. Sadly however sometimes it takes children a long time to learn the most important lessons in life.
After a courageous fifteen month fight we lost my father to terminal bladder cancer on June 29th 2016, this is the first birthday I have celebrated without him.
My father spent the last five weeks of his life in palliative care at a local hospital, and on the day he departed this existence I was the one to find him, I was the one to break the news to my Mother, My Brother and my Sister, I will live with that memory for the remainder of my days.
I don't say this to complain, somehow it feels right that it was me to find Dad, but it has taught me the importance of making each moment and each memory count - something my father had tried to teach me for years.
Today as I've celebrated my birthday I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my Dad and how special he made each and every occasion for his family. I have thought of both the good times and the bad and how I would not be the person I am today if not for his loving influence in my life.
I love you Dad, I'm sorry it took me this long to learn the lessons you sought to teach me throughout the years, but I am learning them now and I miss you.
Thanks for reading.
Scott - CanGeek.com
This blog is dedicated to all the husbands and wives, sons and daughters who have lost a loved one. They may be absent but will never be gone so long as they live within your heart
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